The Brew Review

February 25, 2006

Aventinus

Filed under: German — brewreview @ 10:38 pm

Aventinus

aventinuswheat.jpg

Reviewed by: Guinness Girl and Oy Vey

Nationality: German

Tastes like: Terms of Endearment or Chocolat

Comments:

“A little syrupy…but not as bad as that one.” – GG

“Nowhere near as bad as the World’s Greatest Beer.” – Oy Vey

“Lighter than Guinness. ‘Heavily bodied lager’ a la Wikipedia.” – Oy Vey

[both are quiet]

“Not as heavy and strong as it comes off to be.” – Oy Vey

“I’m kinda indifferent.” – GG

“Not bad….it’s just not my thing. Too malty. But I will finish drinking it. As will you. Unlike The World’s Greatest Beer. What the FUCK is THAT? You’re just ASKING to be shot down? Arrogant bastard.” – Oy Vey

“The purple’s very nice. It reminds me of Easter.” – Oy Vey

“Jesus purple. Doesn’t it remind you of Lent?” – Oy Vey

“Dude, Methodists don’t do Lent.” – Guinness Girl

[Insert lots of girly talk and instropection – whilst drinking this beer dry]

“Steel Magnolias? Chocolat? Babette’s Feast? Definitely a chick flick even though one wouldn’t necessarily think so because it’s on the heavier, maltier side. But that’s just how chicks are when they start talking for real. For REAL.” – collective

[yelled from bathroom door] “Terms of Endearment!!!!” – Oy Vey

“I sooo agree. Terms of Endearment or Chocolat it is.” – Guinness Girl

Reviewed at: Home

Gilde Pilsener

Filed under: Asbolute Swill,Austrian,Comedy,German — brewreview @ 9:28 pm

Gilde Pilsener

gilde.jpg

Reviewed by: Guinness Girl and Oy Vey

Nationality: German

Tastes like: Ernest Goes to Africa

Comments:

“It smells like skunk!” – Oy Vey

“Great. I’m about to drink something that smells like skunk.” – Guinness Girl

“Tastes bland…but the smell! Oh, GOD, the smell!” – Oy Vey

[drinking with nose plugged] “I bet this is what O’Doul’s tastes like. Thank God we don’t know that first-hand.” – GG

“Hideous!” – Oy Vey

“This beer makes me rethink my desire to be a brew reviewer. I’m kidding, of course. And of course I’ll drink it all down, just because I paid $4.75 for it.” – GG

“It’s not as bad as The World’s Best Beer. But it smells worse than The World’s Best Beer.” – Oy Vey

[The Brew Reviewers then decide to add lime to it.]

“A little like drinking fizzy hairspray!” – GG

“Better with the lime. The lime masks the smell . Kinda like Corona quality with lime.” – Oy Vey

Reviewed at: Society Hill Hotel

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