The Brew Review

April 3, 2006

Ephemere Printemps Apple Ale

Filed under: Oddballs — brewreview @ 6:13 pm

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Nationality: Canadian

Reviewed by: Guinness Girl and Oy Vey

Tastes Like: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

Ale made with apples, ale and Curacao.

This beer is weak. Kinda lame, really. The description sounds heavenly, but it leaves you high and dry. Starts out like a cider and ends like a Perrier. Light, semi-sweet, fairies! We wanted to like this beer, we really did. And the cute fairy on the bottle is seriously adorable.

We expected much more from this beer. It took a longer time to drink than we wanted it to and the finish was as boring as hell.

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April 1, 2006

Sinebrychoff Porter

Filed under: Finnish — brewreview @ 3:25 am

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Nationality: Finland

Reviewed by: Oy Vey and Guinness Girl

Tastes like: The Butterfly Effect

Reviewed at: Eulogy

Comments:

"The beer's pretty tasty for a stout.  Or a porter, since it IS a porter.  Whoopsie." – GG

"Not bad at all!  Pretty damn good beer, actually.  Yeah, it's tasty.  For a dark beer, it's pretty light." – OV

Ridiculous conversation ensues about what we know about Finland.  GG did a book report on it in 5th grade and associates Finland with blonde people and sheep. OV thinks of tall people. Readers, we promise we're not idiots, we just weren't the most stellar of geography students.

This is another one of those movies you'd totally watch if it were on the teevee, but probably wouldn't make a real effort to see…a determination that, in retrospect (several hours later) seems odd because we proclaimed it a "pretty damn good beer." 

Sooo…a movie that's both average and pretty damn good, all at once?  That's a toughie.  I'm going with The Butterfly Effect, because it never would have occurred to me to proactively seek the film out, but when I watched it, I was surprised that I thought the concept was interesting and that the movie held my attention throughout.  Overall, pretty damn good, but I don't see myself adding it to my Netflix queue anytime soon.

Delirium Nocturnum

Filed under: Belgian — brewreview @ 3:12 am

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Nationality: Belgian

Reviewed by: Oy Vey & Guinness Girl

Tastes like: Heavenly Creatures

Reviewed at: Eulogy

Comments:

"Cute elephant." – GG

"Really cute little fuckin' elephant.  And you got a cute glass, too!" – OV

Sweet smell…a little heavier than expected.  Not really worth $8.50 per bottle, but it's not bad. 

Heavenly Creatures is the corresponding movie, because it's not BAD.  In fact, it's pretty interesting/intriguing…and yet I'd never pay money to watch it.  If it comes on TV, sure, I'll watch and won't change the channel, but I won't go out of my way.  Same with this beer.  If it were cheaper, I'd give it a great movie – it could be the poor man's Chimay Blue.  Instead, it's actually more expensive.  Makes no sense.  But I wouldn't kick it out of the fridge.

Bell’s Cherry Stout

Filed under: American,Romance — brewreview @ 2:54 am

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Nationality: American (Michigan)

Reviewed by: Oy Vey and Guinness Girl

Tastes like: Must Love Dogs

Comments:

"Weird" – collective

"Undrinkable…almost. Well, Okay, I'd drink it all." – GG

Basically, it tastes like flat cherry coke with some Guinness in it. We really wanted to like it because the label is adorable.

"The label is so shabby chic." 

"Is the look on my face saying it all?" – OV [grimacing]

This is the equivalent of watching Must Love Dogs. You really want to like it, because it seems like it would be cute, but it's just a weird combo of tastes – cherry and Guinness? Ick. Kinda like how Diane Lane and John Cusack are a weird couple.

Plus, Must Love Dogs was equally unlikeable. Long discussion on how it kinda had a moral, where Diane Lane sleeps with the asshole character and never (at least during the movie) gets it on with the gem (John Cusack, although his character was way lame in the movie).

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