Sam Smith Organically Produced Ale

Nationality: English

Reviewed by: Guinness Girl and Oy Vey

Tastes like: Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

“What’s it called? It’s citrusy. It’s orangey.” – GG
[Long discussion of other citrusy beer.]

“I don’t like this beer.” – OV

“I don’t mind it. I could drink it on a really hot day. I wouldn’t kick it out my fridge.” – GG

[Noticeable shiver from Oy Vey]

“It does have a hint of Lysol.” – GG

“I do not like this beer.” [Noticeable shiver] – OV

Oy Vey does not like this beer, yet Guinnes Girl doesn’t mind it. It’s a Kevin Costner movie.

Reviewed at: Pico de Gallo

Coopers Pale Ale

Nationality: Australian

Reviewed by: Guinness Girl and Oy Vey

Tastes Like: Some Kind of Wonderful

“Corona. It’s plain. A plain beer, but I do hold a special place in my heart for this because this is what Tali White was drinking at the Lucksmiths show. Tali White = the hottest lead singer. Hotness.” – OV

“Prince of Hotness?” – GG

“No, just hotness. I swear there was a puddle of drool collecting at my feet watching him. His bottle got knocked over by a cord and I picked it up and set it right. I didn’t want to get electrocuted by my own drool.” – OV

“Flavored seltzer, like McSorley’s. I don’t think we’re light beer drinkers.” – GG

“I think I’m thinking of Heineken – the American kind, but I haven’t had one in like forever.” – OV

[Long diatribe about some movie in South Africa] “Oh wait, I was looking for something Australian, but similar I guess – they’ve both got cool accents.” – GG

[Discussion of movie that takes place in a boarding school.]

“These pansy beers are so much harder to figure out.” – OV

“Enh…gotta be something that’s forgettable yet still holds a special place in our hearts. Eric Stolz.” – Collective

Reviewed at: Pico de Gallo

Big City Yardy

Big City Yardy

*picture not available*

Reviewed by: Guinness Girl & Oy Vey

Nationality: Jamaican

Tastes like: Cool Runnings

Comments:

“Same as Coopers, but skunky.” – Oy Vey

“This one’s not Jamaican me crazy. And no, I didn’t steal that from Poppy Cedes, I stole it from a stupid sorority party in college.” – GG

“Wow, we’re not on our game.” – Oy Vey

“That Jamaican bobsled movie!! Plain, dumb, and bad. Except we haven’t actually seen the movie…we’re just guessing here.” – collective

Long discussion on lameness, tiredness, etc. This was our first drink of the night and both reviewers were in semi-crappy moods.

Reviewed at: Pico de Gallo

McSorley’s

McSorley’s Irish Ale

Reviewed by: Oy Vey and Guinness Girl

Nationality: American (Wisconsin)

Tastes like: Bambi Part 2. Granted, we’ve never seen it…but it’s how we imagine it being.

Comments:

“Easy to drink.” – Oy Vey

“Tastes like seltzer! Like Clearly Canadian!” – Guinness Girl

“Bubbly – overly sweet.” – Oy Vey

“Got nothing going for it.” – Guinness Girl

“I like this less than I like drinking nothing.” – Guinness Girl

“Light, sweet, and inoffensive.” – Oy Vey

Reviewed at: Home

B. B. Burgerbrau

B. B. Burgerbrau

*Picture not available*

Reviewed by: Oy Vey and Guinness Girl

Nationality: Czech

Tidbits: Bottle says “The Original Lager Beer”

Tastes like: The Net

Comments:

“I am going to be more serious this time.” – Guinness Girl

“I like it better than Bud Light. A little orangey.” – Guinness Girl

“Possibly PBR? Not sure. I’m kinda enh. Definitely has some citrus.” – Oy Vey

“A little sweeter tasting. Nice. Light. Not at all like hamburgers. Easy to drink” – Guinness Girl

“Definitely a Sandra Bullock movie, since you like her and I don’t.” – Oy Vey