Delirium Nocturnum

Nationality: Belgian

Reviewed by: Oy Vey & Guinness Girl

Tastes like: Heavenly Creatures

Reviewed at: Eulogy

Comments:

"Cute elephant." – GG

"Really cute little fuckin' elephant.  And you got a cute glass, too!" – OV

Sweet smell…a little heavier than expected.  Not really worth $8.50 per bottle, but it's not bad. 

Heavenly Creatures is the corresponding movie, because it's not BAD.  In fact, it's pretty interesting/intriguing…and yet I'd never pay money to watch it.  If it comes on TV, sure, I'll watch and won't change the channel, but I won't go out of my way.  Same with this beer.  If it were cheaper, I'd give it a great movie – it could be the poor man's Chimay Blue.  Instead, it's actually more expensive.  Makes no sense.  But I wouldn't kick it out of the fridge.

Delirium Tremens

Delerium Tremens

Reviewed by: Oy Vey and Guinness Girl

Nationality: Belgian

Tastes like: St. Elmo’s Fire

Comments:

“Nutmeggy. Very smooth. Like the Pink Panther, but pink elephants. Weird bottle! Reminds me of ginger ale: not sweet at ALL, smooth (how many effin’ times do I use that word? I refuse to say “lovely.” Absolutely refuse). It’s dry. Yet, the pink elephants are comical. A dry comedy. Something British, perhaps? Strange-ass bottle, really.” – Oy Vey

“I’m still trying to get rid of the taste of the World’s Rarest Beer. This is…I’m still formulating…we Southern girls, we tailgate with Bud Light and Jim Beam, generally. But this is what I’d tailgate with if I went to Harvard or Yale.” – Guinness Girl

“They’re obnoxious.” – Oy Vey

“Or I’d drink it outside in the fall at Georgetown. It’s St. Elmo’s Fire. There’s something endearing about it – the pink elephant – and there’s also something I never quite GOT. You’d never kick this out of your fridge, just like you’d never sell your copy of this movie.” – Guinness Girl

“This beer is as addictive as that theme song!” – Oy Vey

“That’s a good beer. It’s nice. Oh, look at the dancing, er, more like strutting crocodiles! What’s that on that ball? A triceratops? A dragon? I think it’s a dragon.” – Guinness Girl

Reviewed at: Home

La Chouffe

La Chouffe

Reviewed by:
Oy Vey and Guinness Girl

Nationality: Belgian

Tastes like:
Memoirs of a Geisha

Comments:
“I swear to God, I taste jasmine.” – Oy Vey

“No way! I’ve never eaten jasmine, but we have a jasmine candle.” – Guinness Girl

“Jasmine tea! Anything I say that’s food-related is professional. I just have to say that.” – Oy Vey

“It’s light, accessible.” – Oy Vey

Reviewed at: Eulogy

Leffe Blonde

Leffe Blonde

Reviewed by:
Oy Vey and Guinness Girl

Nationality: Belgian

Tastes Like:
High Fidelity

Comments:
“Dare I say it’s minty?” – Oy Vey

“Um, I don’t know. I’m not qualified to answer.” – Guinness Girl

“Very clearly not an American beer.” – Oy Vey

“This makes me want to marry this beer. I’m serious. I’m in love with this beer. Can I kiss this beer?” – Guinness Girl

“The John Cusack of beers: accessible, no Chimay, but cute and stylish, radio-over-the-head, oh I love you.” – Guinness Girl

“Minty. Light and refreshing. An after-dinner mint. Or a mint on the pillow. Smooth, slightly sweet, fun, completely enjoyable and pretty hip.” – Oy Vey

“This beer knows all the good music.” – Guinness Girl

Reviewed at: Eulogy

Kwak

Kwak

Reviewed by:
Guinness Girl and Oy Vey

Nationality: Belgian

Tastes like:
A Room With A View

Comments:
“Like Gulden Draak, but lighter and less hopsy. Perhaps THIS is the Lucy Honeychurch of beers. Is “kwak” what English ducks say?” – Guinness Girl

“It’s beautiful, though t’is a beautiful beer. And the name doesn’t do it justice, really. Lovely, but skinnier than the Gulden Draak.” – Oy Vey

“Who cannot love a beer that wears galoshes?” (Paddington) but a BEER that wears galoshes is cute…but disturbing. And vice versa.” – Guinness Girl*

Reviewed at: Eulogy

____________________

*Yes. I know. This is when I should have stopped drinking.

Gulden Draak

Gulden Draak

 

Reviewed by:
Oy Vey and Guinness Girl

Nationality: Belgian

Tastes like:
Point of contention! Oy Vey said The Talented Mister Ripley; Guinness Girl rambled about its resemblance to A Room With A View…although she later conceded to Oy Vey’s point.

Comments:
“Really strong. I really like this. Wow, this is really delicious, I have to say, I mean…”Guinness Lite”, but still full-bodied.” – Oy Vey

“Super-smooth. No aftertaste. Black currant! Guinness with black currant!” – GG

“The Marilyn Monroe of Beers: if we new anything about her other than that she was size 14, pseudo-full-figured, and beautiful…but we have not seen any of her movies.” – Collective

“Talented Mr. Ripley! Good quality and very smooth movie!” – Oy Vey

“Room With A View! LUCY HONEYCHURCH! [insert long diatribe here].” – GG

“More rounded than Kwak. Full bodied.” – Oy Vey

Reviewed at: Eulogy

Chimay Cinq Cents

Chimay Cinq Cents

Reviewed by:  Oy Vey and Guinness Girl

Nationality: Belgian

Tastes like: Frida

Comments:
“Reminds me of a, like, Corona with some nutmeg. Definitely has a pedestrian quality. Superfresh.”- Oy Vey

“Tasty, but no Chimay Blue. It’s the Yankee Candle Beer (pumpkin pie + mistletoe)! But better than Arrogant Bastard.” – Guinness Girl

“Frida totally fits it Indie movie, but got so much press that people who couldn’t appreciate it tried to, and as a result, it got more press than it should have. Don’t get me wrong. This is a great, great movie, but ENOUGH with the one eyebrow already.” – Collective

Reviewed at: Eulogy

Rochefort 10

Rochefort 10

Reviewed by: Guinness Girl and Oy Vey

Nationality: Belgian

Tastes Like: Not sure what movie yet, but definitely a Golden Globe winner, but not an Oscar

Comments:

“Now, tasty, but Chimay Blue is better and $2 less. And has a cuter bottle. ” – GG
“Nice, smooth, but no Jacobite. Overpriced.” – Oy Vey

Chimay Blue

Chimay Blue

Reviewed by: Guinness Girl

Nationality:Belgian

Tastes like: Damn, I still haven’t figured out what movie I love enough.

Comments: I can’t believe Miller Genuine Draft has the gall to call itself the champagne of beers. This is SO the real champagne of beers. Really.

Reviewed at:  Eulogy