Bell’s Cherry Stout

Nationality: American (Michigan)

Reviewed by: Oy Vey and Guinness Girl

Tastes like: Must Love Dogs

Comments:

"Weird" – collective

"Undrinkable…almost. Well, Okay, I'd drink it all." – GG

Basically, it tastes like flat cherry coke with some Guinness in it. We really wanted to like it because the label is adorable.

"The label is so shabby chic." 

"Is the look on my face saying it all?" – OV [grimacing]

This is the equivalent of watching Must Love Dogs. You really want to like it, because it seems like it would be cute, but it's just a weird combo of tastes – cherry and Guinness? Ick. Kinda like how Diane Lane and John Cusack are a weird couple.

Plus, Must Love Dogs was equally unlikeable. Long discussion on how it kinda had a moral, where Diane Lane sleeps with the asshole character and never (at least during the movie) gets it on with the gem (John Cusack, although his character was way lame in the movie).

Rogue Dead Guy Ale

Nationality: American (Oregon)

Reviewed by: Oy Vey

Tastes like: Death and the Maiden
This isn’t much of a review because for some reason I wrote the name of the beer but no tasting notes. Oh well. I do remember that I found this beer very smooth and it was a nice warm color. Other than that…hmmmm….

So…I remember liking it, but I don’t remember what or why. (Thank god I remember the where.)

Reviewed at: Black Door

Left Hand Sawtooth

Left Hand Sawtooth

 

Reviewed by: Guinness Girl & Oy Vey

Nationality: American (Colorado)

Tastes like: Almost Famous

Comments:

“Now that’s a GOOD BEER.  Supersmooth.  Good flavor.  NO bitterness.  Clean finish.” – Oy Vey

“That’s some good stuff!  That really is some good stuff!” – Oy Vey

“Almost Famous!!!” – Guinness Girl

“Kate Hudson is pretty and nice enough, and William Miller/Patrick Fugit is adorable.  I want to own this beer, just like I own this movie.” – collective

“This beer makes me want to sit on a bus and sing Elton John’s Tiny Dancer with all my friends.” – Guinness Girl

“And…I’ve never heard of this beer before.  Hence…Almost famous.  heh.” – Oy Vey

Reviewed at: Ten Stone

Victory Hop Devil

Victory Hop Devil

Reviewed by:  Guinness Girl and Oy Vey

Nationality: American

Tastes like: Interview with the Vampire

Comments: 

“Caswell-Massey!  Tastes like PERFUME!  Really really really flowery, which is interesting because it’s devilish.  My mouth was washed out with soap…ONCE…as a kid, and this is what it tasted like.  FOUL. ” – Oy Vey

“Not bad.  Not bad.  Not bad…EW!!!” – Guinness Girl

“That is some flowery shit.” – Oy Vey

“It’s weird…on the front half of the tongue, it’s really tasty – but then it hits the BACK and DEAR GOD…” – Guinness Girl

Decision: This is the perfect Interview with the Vampire beer – it’s perfumey and oddly pretty, but then it bites ya in the neck.  Smells nice, but SO isn’t.

LOTS of “yuck”s.

“It’s like drinking Tide laundry detergent.” – Oy Vey

Consensus: UNDRINKABLE

Reviewed at: Ten Stone

McSorley’s

McSorley’s Irish Ale

Reviewed by: Oy Vey and Guinness Girl

Nationality: American (Wisconsin)

Tastes like: Bambi Part 2. Granted, we’ve never seen it…but it’s how we imagine it being.

Comments:

“Easy to drink.” – Oy Vey

“Tastes like seltzer! Like Clearly Canadian!” – Guinness Girl

“Bubbly – overly sweet.” – Oy Vey

“Got nothing going for it.” – Guinness Girl

“I like this less than I like drinking nothing.” – Guinness Girl

“Light, sweet, and inoffensive.” – Oy Vey

Reviewed at: Home

He’Brew 9 Jewbelation

He’Brew 9

Reviewed by: Guinness Girl and Oy Vey

Nationality: American (California)

Tidbits from the bottle: “Celebrating 9 years of delicious beer and delicious schtick.” “The Chosen Beer.” More long rambley crap on the bottle. I remember hearing something about Abraham who circumcised himself and about sex being one of the 9 reasons for reincarnation and the other 8 are unimportant. Rodney Dangerfield? Did I really hear about Rodney Dangerfield? (Commentary by Guinness Girl)

Tastes Like: Coneheads or Napolean Dynamite

Comments:

“Neither of us are big fans. This beer kinda sucks. (It was FINE with Mexican food, but…) The people who drink this are probably only drinking it because they are uber-Jews – too into their Jewishness to notice that it isn’t good and is just kinda lame – the Larry Rovners a la Crossing California. Kinda lame, schticky, forgettable. It’s going to be damn hard to choose a movie, because we’ve already forgotten it.” – Collective*

“Napolean Dynamite?” – Guinness Girl

“Gimmicky.” – Adrock (guest reviewer)

“It’s like one of those Saturday Night Live-based movies that’s only good for about 20 minutes in a sketch, but when you draw it out into 22-ounces, it sucks.” – Oy Vey

“Coneheads!!!” – collective

Reviewed at: Home

___________________

*Note – we are not anti-Semetic. In fact, Oy Vey is Jewish herself and Guinness Girl is a sometimes wannabe Jew. If you read Crossing California and knew who Larry Rovner was, you’d understand our point.

Yard’s Poor Richard’s Spruce Ale

Yard’s Poor Richard’s Spruce Ale

 

Reviewed by: Oy Vey and Guinness Girl

Nationality: American (Pennsylvania)

Tidbits: Ben Franklin’s Recipe, with spruce and molasses

Tastes like: National Treasure

Comments:

“Smells nasty, a la Jagermeister.” – Oy Vey

“Not as horrific as you’d think…but it isn’t great.  Lighter than you think.  Smells really gross, but in a different way from the Gilde Pilsner.” – Oy Vey

“It’s like drinking a tree.” - Collective

“Not my least favorite.” – Guinness Girl

“It’s not The World’s Best Beer or the world’s best beer.” – Oy Vey

“National Treasure really fits it, because you watch/drink it for the historical stuff, but really it’s a shit movie and this is a shit beer.” – Collective 

Reviewed at: Society Hill Hotel

Dogfish Raison d’Etre

Dogfish Raison d’Etre 

 

Reviewed by: Oy Vey & Guinness Girl

Nationality: American (Delaware)

Tastes like: unsure…discussion over Dying Young and Ghost. 

Comments:

[before sipping] “Good God!  With a name like that, this better be some beer!” – GG

“The second sip is better than the first.  Sweet, then it’s bittersweet.” – GG

“It’s definitely a film where the couple doesn’t get together in the end….Dying Young?” – Oy Vey

[laughing] “Does this beer make you want to die?” – GG

“No.  Ha.  It’s doesn’t want to make you cry, either, but it leaves a little something off.  You definitely only want to watch it once.” – OV

“It might be Ghost.  It’s bittersweet, and Ghost is a little annoying, and this beer is a little annoying.” – GG

Reviewed at: Society Hill Hotel

Yard’s Love Stout

Yard’s Love Stout

Reviewed by: Guinness Girl and Oy Vey

Nationality: American (Pennsylvania)

Random tidbit: Made in Philadelphia, and is made with oyster shells, of all things.

Tastes like: Party Monster

Comments:

“It’s the decline of humanity – will haunt you for the rest of your life. You can see the artistic value, but you wouldn’t want to see it again. And I didn’t like the movie that much, either. Not a fan! I could also choose Requiem for a Dream for this one.” – Guinness Girl

“Good cinematography, but I wouldn’t watch it again. It’s like Sin City. You’re not happy watching it, but you’re not not gonna finish it.” – Oy Vey

“After I taste this one, I want to go watch Home Alone and remind myself that Macauley Culkin isn’t always creepy. Just like I want to go drink something delicious like Chimay right now.” – Guinness Girl

“Definitely trendy – very Old City.” – Oy Vey

Reviewed at: Society Hill Hotel

Arrogant Bastard Draught

Arrogant Bastard Draught

Reviewed by: Guinness Girl and Oy Vey

Nationality: American (California)

Tastes like:
Titanic, although there was also some discussion of Waterworld. (Oy Vey leans heavily on the Waterworld side.)

Comments:
“Arrogant bastards are usually arrogant. I think this is the same, and the arrogant bastard who made this beer would secretly agree with me. ” – Guinness Girl
“Two words: cat piss.* ” – Oy Vey
“Two more words in favor of Waterworld: Kevin Costner.” – Oy Vey

Reviewed at: Eulogy

*This comment was followed by a long discussion of where and why the term ‘cat piss’ is used legitimately in wine tasting…but we are, ever-so-kindly, sparing you from the details.